Score: 7

"Pretty good!"

submission: Porno for Parents

date: July 19, 2009

Please don't flame me...

I enjoyed this. The animation was really well done, and I liked the little touches like the mom's mascara running and the censor blur on the virus goblin's garbage. The look on the girlfriend's face when the dad comes in was priceless.

But... the comedy routine itself I thought was a little predictable. Pretty much everyone on this site will have a 'ZOMG MY PAERNTS DONT KNO COMPS LOLOLOL MY DAD FPR0TED HIS TARBALL' story, and apart from the 'I've got a hose!' and 'steal your daughter' bits it didn't raise anything beyond a knowing smile from me. Sorry Mike. I'll go check out some of your other stuff but this particular bit didn't do it for me. I think it would be a great opener for your show, though.

Again, please don't flame me for not just throwing a ten at this. I'm not going to lie.

Score: 10

"Sexiest of the series!"

submission: Meet'N'Fuck: Vacation

date: March 24, 2009

Out of all the MNF games, I think this one is the sexiest. Yeah, Street Racing has the cool minigame but this one (the first part anyway) reminds me the most of holiday romance. See a pretty girl, introduce yourself, get to know her...

I suppose I'm biased as I find Chelsea enchantingly beautiful. I don't normally like blondes either, but when they're proper platinum blondes with nearly white hair, nearly white skin (with faint freckles) then they're perfect. That she's not just another horny trio of holes but an endearing girl with a real personality in this story makes her all the more attractive. And it occurred to me - our hero now has himself a girlfriend proper, as if Chelsea was on the same flight she must live near him too!

It's a shame it goes a bit downhill into a threesome with her brash sister which is too formulaic even by porn standards... I'd prefer it if these games let you choose just one girl and spend time with her almost like the dating sims.

But perhaps I ask too much... I still love the game and enjoyed the fantasy you've made for us. Keep up the great work!

Score: 10

"Did what it set out to do, and did it well!"

submission: MeetNFuck Office Romance

date: February 10, 2009

Before I start, to all the people complaining that the girl's boobs are too big - it's ANIME PORN. Women in anime porn ALWAYS have ridiculously huge norks... well, almost always. If that is the worst thing you can say about it, you'd better have given it a good score otherwise. Geez.

Anyway, I don't understand all the hate for this. It set out to do something (tell a sexy story) and it did it with style. I think pretty much everyone will have had a fantasy about a sexy co-worker catching them alone in the office and this just translated it into flash.

The animation you've done on what was originally 2D artwork is excellent and natural and smooth (ahem). The music was sexy without being outright bom-chikka-wah-wah porn style, and the sounds were carefully mixed so as to be in the background (I usually turn down the volume or mute pr0n as the ridiculous fake moaning and 'oh god yeah, my ass' gets tiresome).

The interaction... well, I won't miss the mouse waving of the old games, but having to figure out which leg she wants rubbed first was amusing the first few times but by now it's a bit old. And this woman has just given our hero a titfuck... is she really going to complain when he starts rubbing her vag? Speaking of which, just rubbing? None of the heroes in this version seem to have tongues! You drive a woman wild by giving her a tongue tornado, maybe something to consider including in the next one.

Overall, I enjoyed it a lot (and no, I didn't fling string across my keyboard while watching it) and thought it was erotic without being sleazy (though some of the 'bad' conversation choices certainly were). Keep up (heh) the good work.

Score: 9

"Splat!"

submission: Blood car! 2000! Delux!

date: February 8, 2008

Oh man, it reminds me of the stupid driving bit in the original Police Quest... except I always wished the driving bit in Police Quest was like this, with people to splat and the ability to go nuts and not just explode as soon as I touched the sidewalk!

Good game, the only problem I found was in the cemetary level, the people could run through that unbreakable brick wall and I couldn't follow and had to go around... and then they just ran back through the other way. Annoying.

Score: 10

"Go Go Jebus!"

submission: Madness Inundation

date: February 8, 2008

Excellent stuff as always, Krinkels.

There were a lot of really good ideas in this one - creative methods of killing the baddies on show, especially when Jebus remembers he has damned vicious telekinesis.

I think I need to get a new computer, as some of the scenes (especially the outdoors ones, or where there's a large area being shown such as the bit with the elevator) ran a bit slowly for me. This only affected a tiny bit of what was a really long movie, though, so it's not a big deal (and is prolly my fault for my old G4 iBook)

Epic stuff, man. Everything was great - the sound, the surprises, the rendering of the workings of the guns (especially the sniper rifle) and of course, the supreme badassery of the hero.

Score: 9

"Hooray! I love it!"

submission: Miss Dynamite XXIII gdh

date: December 4, 2007

I've been watching/reading Miss Dynamite for years, and it just keeps getting better!

The artwork is great, the voices are great and I almost choked laughing at some of the bits towards the end.

The only criticism I can think of is that some of the cuts (around the card game and when Blackie is told to make Nani drink her milk) were a bit quick, so you didn't have time to appreciate one scene before it moved on to the next.

Apart from that, two thumbs waaaaay up. Bring on Twiggy!

Score: 7

"I like it!"

submission: Grand Theft Semi-Auto

date: September 28, 2007

I like it! Good jokes, good drawings, kept my attention the whole way through.

You do need a better mic or something, as the voices were a bit muffled. Check your spelling a bit - a few words were wrong.

Turning the key at the beginning is cool - do more stuff like that.

Score: 8

"He just knocks him into the ground so effortlessly"

submission: HaloShock

date: September 28, 2007

Hehe! I think you've just resolved that huge fight on the GameFAQs boards about who'd win in a fight.

Nice one!

Score: 8

"Pushed the tech envelope a bit too far this time"

submission: Madness Antipathy

date: November 7, 2006

Madness is always great - but the indoor bits ran practically in slow motion even on low detail, which took a lot of the fun away. Madness is always about fast, crazy action, so please maybe reconsider all the funky interior techniques for the next one so those of us without a top-spec computer can enjoy it at its best?

Score: 9

"Erm?"

submission: Retarded Animal Babies 17

date: October 26, 2006

I've been watching RAB since there were only three episodes. The missus and I love them, they're great fun, and we use a lot of the quotes in everyday speech (yes, we are that pathetic, if you're wondering, it's stuff like "Yeeha, I'm a butter dumpster!", "This is my PEE PEE PLACE!", "Pants-poo-pee-poo", and "You're awful frigid for someone who has handles like RIGHT ON HER HEAD". Oh, and "I brought three potatoes, a bucket full of pelicans, and Satan." So there.) but we weren't sure what to make of this one. Lately it's been a bit hit and miss with the gags and storylines. The twist was cool, sure, but it went on forever and the jokes while we waited didn't seem to work. And yes, I have seen Most Haunted.

Anyway, the question I have to raise (maybe it has been already, in the last 224 reviews, I can't be going back to check, I'll be at it all night)... what's with the metric joke? Is it some kind of joke about how Europeans measure everything in metric? Because, while in the UK a lot of things are now measured in metric thanks to the EU, distances (like on the signpost) aren't. Still in miles. That's all. Just a weird question/observation.